Thursday, February 26, 2009

Ups and Downs

Well it has truly been a roller-coaster of a week for me.  Last thursday I ran the farthest I've ever run in my life (High) then my favorite people came in for the weekend (high) unfortunatly Jocelyn got sick the morning she flew out and ended up being sick all weekend (lo).  I was happy to just have the time with my ladies but we were limited as to what we could do.  The weekend was still awesome and I miss them so much.  Having to say goodbye to Shannon and Jocelyn were definite lows in the week.  Part of me wanted to get on the planes with them and leave Colorado.  I have loved this winter in many ways and it truly has been a healing experience for me.  However I feel like it's time for me to move beyond this lifestyle and get on with my life.

Here's where the ultimate high of the week comes in, as you've read I've been slacking on my posts because I've been applying to Graduate School, well I GOT IN!!!!  My top choice school, The University of Oregon, sent me an early notification email and the first word is Congratulations!  I was floored, I didn't know whether to cry or scream or stare in disbelief at the computer screen, I may have actually done all 3 I can't recall. I so needed this news this week to lift me out of my funk and look forward again.  

This past year has been an incredibly painful one for me and I have at times not known how to feel about the future.  I have made choices on where I've gone and what I've done more so out of a need to get away.  People try very hard to runaway from their lives and reality.  I in many ways went to Alaska and to Colorado to runaway from a very painful breakup.  However I knew that no matter where I went it would be waiting for me when I got there.  That's the thing, you can run as far and as  fast as you want but life will always beat you to your destination.  I feel as though I've faced my reality and what has transpired.  I'm not totally over it yet but I'm on my way.  I am so happy to be accepted into a Graduate School program I can't even put it into words.  I feel like now I am moving on with my life in the direction I want to be going. I worked hard to get to this place and I'm going to enjoy it!

I know this doesn't have much to do with my marathon training but it's one of those things that has really affected my training.  I had an easy run yesterday, 3.5 miles and even though I didn't get tired during it I walked more than I normally would.  The only reason I did was because my mind was preoccupied with what had happened that week. I was in someways reliving some very painful parts of this last year.  I allowed worry to get in and distract me.  I feel a huge weight lifted, I have something to look forward to past the marathon and a new adventure ahead of me.  

I feel recommitted to the marathon too.  Like, "Ok now let's get down to business!"  So tomorrow I am going to go for my 8 mile run, it'll be the longest I've ever done again so wish me luck and say your prayers!


hopeful #1 said...

Wow, that's great news Lydia! I'm so proud of you and the first choice... wow! I'd love to visit you in Oregon!!!

Jocelyn said...

:) I love you! When you're ready you can turn around and face everything dead on, and we will be here to help you. Sounds like you are doing good though. and can I get a HELL yeah for you getting in...HELL YEAH!! :) beyond proud of you!