Friday, October 17, 2008

My Inspiration...

I ran today, I woke up later than I wanted and sat in front of my computer for about 10 minutes trying to talk myself into just skipping it. I knew I would feel guilty if I didn't run and I ate a lot of sugar yesterday which made me feel sick so I really wanted to run that out of my system. I did 3 miles in about 35 minutes. I didn't drink or eat anything before I went which I think hurt me 3/4 of the way in. I was following the "My Best 10K" workout from iTunes. You spend 5 minutes doing an easy warm up run then stop and do lunges for about 2 minutes. My legs were lead after the lunges and continued to feel that way for another 10 minutes. I did some significant lifting this week so I think my legs were tired. The last section is of really fast running for 5 minutes before you cool down. Well I hit that section just when I arrived at the bottom on hill, needless to say I walked part of the hill but I finished strong. I'm really glad I ran, I got discouraged during the run but I'm still glad I did it.

Speaking of being discouraged, Jocelyn's hit a rough patch in her running. Her knee is really bothering her and it feels like it's just always going to be like this. Getting discouraged in your running happens and for many it defeats them. I got discouraged this morning when I had to walk twice in my run, there's nothing wrong with walking but part of me felt like, "I should be getting faster, this should be getting easier and all of sudden it's impossible!" If you look at the successful runners there are usually in thier thirties. There's a reason for that, many of them say when they were younger they were too impaitent to get to where they wanted to be and got frustrated. But now with some time and grade they've become less hurried and more focused on the journey. I know for me I want to go running once and be 20lbs lighter and 20 minutes faster. It's hard to stick with something that is physically just hard and slow to yeild results. I've been wanting to run a marathon for a long time but never committed to actually doing it, why? I don't think I can actually do it, never have. 26.2 miles is FOREVER! I'm going to die, I'm going to burn out I'm going to be walking the whole thing in shame. But this time is different, in part because my two best friends are joining me and they make me feel like a gillizon dollars and like I can do anything in the world.

I'll tell you a secret though, the thing that has kept me running and pushing towards the Ironman and Marathon has been one thought: the finish line.

I stop and I think about how exhausted I'll be but then there's the finish line, and then you cross it and you realize you've just done it. You did something you never thought you could ever do. You've completed something so physically taxing people call you crazy for even consisdering doing it. You are a finisher. That's not even the best part, at the end of the marathon I get to cross that line holding hands with two of my best friends, it doesn't get much sweeter than that. It may be stupid but everytime I think about that I start to cry. It's the same for the Ironman, I will collapse into a ball of sobs when I finish it. And it will be for all the people who have doubted me and scoffed when I said what I wanted to do. When I hit the skids again in my running I'll write a longer post about the moment I decided to do the Ironman. It's something I'll never forget. But until then ladies run tall and walk strong we are stronger than we could ever imagine.


BX Kid said...

I love you! I started to tear up too in your description. Thanks for that. You some how get me motivated again, and optimistic about my knee. You some sort of magical wizard?
I'm proud of you! 3 miles in 35 minutes? That's sexy!!! I tried to lift cat litter at Target (to buy) and my arm hurt. I'm been working them out so hey, look at that, maybe I'll be able to carry you AND Shannon across the finish line. One under each arm!

hopeful #1 said...

I can't believe you are doing this but it's better you than me!!!

Go girl, go!!!